The Experience of Existence

A short piece from a collection of arguments I am currently writing and will finish sometime when I'm old. Its not the best one of the lot... but I like it nontheless...

The Experience of Existence

In the human mind, the area of experience—that is to say, who gains it more easily—is one of the most simple, yet odd of recesses of the brain to explain. It would almost seem that experience can only be understood by a mind so fresh, so brilliant, so virgin to the world that it is the mind of a simpleton. “Come now,” I can almost hear you say, “How could that be so?” Please sir, stay, let me explain myself more fully.
The simpleton mind is more able to easily understand the entity of experience because he accepts “facts” without a second thought. He is a man whom, upon learning that two added to itself makes four, would accept it as any child would. Therefore, once he faces adversity, he will undoubtedly accept the experience that it brings and move on (his addled brain not yet functional enough to believe otherwise.) In that respect, he is superior to what I will now call, “the conscious man.” That does not mean that he is smarter then him though.
The conscious man is more aware of his surroundings and, coincidentally, he is therefore less able to accept experience because of it. He is a man who, upon learning that something is stated as fact, will question as to why it is so. ‘Does twice two really make four? How is it so?’ That is what he will ask himself upon hearing such and such things. Only once he observes something from every possible angle and scenario will he be able to accept and learn from it. Therefore, he will undoubtedly take longer to learn from adversity unlike his fallow friend the simpleton. In this he is inferior to the simpleton because he takes longer to accept something. In this is found the oddity, sir, but the simpleton is still dumb!
I do not believe that someone can be made to learn from the mistakes of others. I believe that the very concept can only be achieved by Donkeys and fools! If one were to be made to learn from the mistakes of others, then the life he would live would not be his own. A man can sit all his life and watch a game in the arena but, until he gets off the grandstand though, he will never be a gladiator. The same is of a man that learns from the mistakes of others. “Do not touch the stove, it is hot.” But is the stove really hot? Does the fire really burn? Until one touches the flame he will never really know, will he?
“Oh but of course the stove is hot. Any fool will be able to tell you that.” Aha, see! It is in there that you are wrong, it is in there that lays the divine absurdity. The simpleton does not really know if the stove is hot at all. He only believes it to be so because he was told it was, or he saw someone suffer for it. Therefore, he is but a foolish bystander in the play of life and not the actor he ought to be. He will never truly know if the stove is truly hot unless he touches it and, in that circumstance, becomes an active conscious man, knowing both good and evil.
If he does not though, he never would have experience it. He will never have known if the stove is truly hot or cold and will not be able to truly decide until he tries it. The simpleton will pass his life as a simpleton—always depending on others to experience life for him and tell him what sensations he is to feel. He will only truly know that the stove is hot and that twice two is four but will realize—above all—nothing!
The conscious man is a knowing man and will never be able to learn from the mistakes of others. He will wonder if the stove is truly hot and, after finding it is such, he will begin to wonder if touching it in a different area will produce the same results. Oh the absurd genius of the conscious man! He will begin to experience everything and miss nothing. His mind will morph the boundaries of existence through what he knows and has felt, and bring to new heights every sensation of reality. He will not have been just the gladiator or the spectator, but will be both one and the same. He will be the entire arena! He will not exist long.
The simpleton will always exist longer then his conscious fellow. The strain upon the conscious mans mind through experiencing everything will kill him off eventually. However, can one call a life where one drifts in the shadow-zones of time—knowing neither good, nor evil, but rather nothing at all—life? The simpleton may accept experience easier and last longer, but he does not truly feel. The conscious man will not last long but it is he who feels through first-hand knowledge and, as such, is the only one who can say that he truly lives.

Home, Home on the Range

Well its settled, it a few hours I will be driving up to North Texas for a thirty-three day road trip. It’s a sort of tradition in my home. Thirty-three days of listening to badly sung Christmas carols and screaming children, thirty-three days of eating Chick-fil-a (if you ever ate there you’d know it’s the food of hell) and being surrounded by the STD’s of the Whore!

Yes! For thirty-three days I will be doing balloons in a mall… and oh how fun it shall be!

This will be the third year that I’m going for a month before Christmas to fundraise. Yes, I know your now thinking “But your not supposed to be raising funds for Christmas, your supposed to be winning the lost, getting souls. Blah blah blah.” Yes, well doing the balloons last year got my little MM home to whoop the ass of nearly every other home in the world for Activated distribution. Choke on that for awhile won’t ya? Proves you don’t have to be part of the Whore in order to pimp the whore, hahaha.
This will be the third year in a row that I’ve been doing balloons in this mall. The place is now like a second home to me. I know nearly everyone that works in the stores and things and its not bad either… gets me good discounts if I ever need to get something because, as we all know, everyone loves a balloon guy. The bad thing though is I got balloon groupies (if there could be such a thing). Their a bunch of girls between the ages of 14-16… they follow me wherever I go…their ugly… I swear they are the minions of Freddy Kruger himself… I’ll never sleep again.
But yes, that is why I will probably not be posting on here for the next month as much as I have been. When I get back on the 24th I’ll write a nice long post telling everything that happened. There’s usually a few notable instances of oddity on these sorts of adventures so yeah, it’ll be a fun read. Just pray that I don’t come back too mentally damaged. Last year all I had running through my head for days afterwards was the song “Santa’s coming to Town” and something where the girl sounded like she was saying “Calling all sheep, BAaAaAaaaaa”*audibly shudders*

Oh yeah, on the first time we did this road trip thing me, my dad, and a friend of ours made a spin-off of Godfrey’s song “Push Back those Forces” If you’ve ever done balloons in a really busy mall at Christmas you’d understand what its talking about. Just imagine the normal music but with these words…

The lines in the mall are getting longer
Everyday more come at me
Everyday more come at me
I see children, feel pressure around me
But I don’t need to fear
The yo-yos are here
I don’t need to fear

We make Elmo’s and yo-yo’s and teddy bears
But the people keep coming
Oh god I need this to stop.

It’s the beginning of a new day
The lines just get longer
The lines just get longer
We must make yo-yo’s and sell them
We must make balloons
We must make balloons
We must make balloons

No matter what comes what comes your way
Make balloons do it today
Nothing can break them, break them all
We make the greatest of them all.
Twist those dogs one at a time
Push that kid, back into line

Show no mercy to their fears
Some of them will pop in their ears
Twist those balloons into swords
If they break be sure to come back for more

The pressure is building within your mind
The balloons keep breaking one at a time
Placing your mind into slavery
Making you think that the kids won’t cry

You have to worry about today
Not tomorrow, don’t worry bout tomorrow
Twist those balloons one at a time
PUSH THAT KIND BACK INTO LINE!!!

Push back those lines
Make more balloons
Hurry and make more balloons.

Lessons

I learned a lesson today....... I learned that never under any circumstances, should one let 3 of their JETTS be near a fire at the same time.

Ahh I fooled you and I'm so pleased too! You probably thought that I would be saying something about an adjustment to my morle code or something the Lords been teaching me didn't you? Haha! No, I didn't learn anything like that today though, when I do, I'll be sure to tell you. ;)

But on the subbject of my JETTS. Their good persons, honest they are. They just can't be trusted around fire or anything shiny really. And also when your not looking Mikey will sometimes stare at you all strangely and things. Kinda scary. But yes, it turns out that all of them are lil pyro's and I had no idea. It took me awhile but, after a time, I managed to subdue thier antics and convinced them that the backyardcannot be set into conflagration and that, by all means, is no small feat when you get all three of them together.
Anyways, I go inside after a bit to make some hot chocolate and come back to see them sitting cross-legged around the thing chanting. Teeny insists that she's the high priestess of the Wala-wala cult and they force me to join in their ritual. Then, once their done with thier chants of doom, the self-appointed preistess runs around the backyard gibbering like an ape, her long hair flying around her like the adorning cape of a madwoman. Everyone is chasing her with sticks in their hands and I was laughing so hard I spilt the drink everywhere. Yes my Jetts are a little odd... but they can make anyone laugh by doing the dumbest things.

Wrote another piece today. It was because on Writersforum someone asked ppl to write a poem for this picture. And so yeah I did here's the link to the picture: http://img329.imageshack.us/my.php?image=187149303imghy3.jpg

And here's the poem:

Pretty Lady

Pretty lady, dine with me
We'll eat the black of night;
Pretty lady drink with me:
The silk of silver light.

Pretty lady, come to me
Behold the moon of silver;
Come now darling you will see
The spine is made to shiver.

Pretty lady, climb with me
Up yonder berry branch--
Clamber up the cherry tree
Of fathers hellish ranch.

Pretty lady hang with me
In sync we'll dying swing,
Pretty lady follow me
On shadows silent wings.

And as we take this dying gasp,
Our hearts ever melded clasp.

The Night Was Made

The Night Was Made

The night was made for loving—
For lovers like us two—
The night was made for holding,
Embrace both me and you.

The night was made for kisses—
Our lips in rapture meld—
The night was made for wishes,
In both our heart are held.

The night was made to listen—
Our dreams conjoined as one—
The night was made to glisten
In beams more bold then sun.

The night was made for fire
(For passions dwell in flame,)
The night was made desire
In pleasure chant its name.

And night was made for loving,
For lovers like us two;
Yes, night was made for loving
Embrace both me and you.

The dumbest thing

Today I've heard one of the dumbest things I think I'll ever hear in my life. Everyone that knows me well knows that I like to collect artistic female nudes. Got a big collection too. Its not porn, I find that stuff almost funny, but artistic photo's: good lighting, mostly black and white, graceful etc. Anyways, I come home today and I find out that I can no longer put them on my PC because some of the members of my home think its "Too explicit" and that my lil bro (who's nearly 15) might come in and see it and then oh! What a horror THAT will be!

I mean gawd, one of the core building blocks of the family's lifestyle is our freedom towards nudity. Hearing this would almost make one laugh if it wasn't so pathetic. Its alright though, after hearing that I marched up to my room, drew something and put it on instead. My dad kinda smirked when he saw it, I think he thought it was funny. :D

Anyways, I was going to post it up here but its a drawing I did so it won't let me. Here's the url though... and no matter what, I won't take it off my PC. Haha!

http://img299.imageshack.us/my.php?image=takethatdo8.png

El Guapo

It all seems like a far-away dream I had once upon a time. The smell of cheap paint and exhaust fumes, the garbage ridden streets, the children trying to convince me to buy gum and cheap jewlery, the dust clouds and stray dogs, the food, the starring at a white wall's for hours in a dentist office...

Yep spent most of my week in a border town in Mexico and you gotta love it. And... and... and if I hear another spanish word or someone tell me that their wares are "cheeper then Dollar General" I'll wish that their future generations are born faceless.

I did like the food though, and the fact that I spent the nights at the Harlingen home... but other then that I really can't say I enjoyed it. It was for a dentist visit (cause its cheeper there) and after I leave a dentist office I strangely always feel like my mouth has been violated in twenty different ways. Finally got the crown on my tooth though so yeah PTL for that at least. :)

It's good to be back though, in more ways then one.

Sing of Summer Days

Sing of Summer Days

Wounded scars still linger here
Though melting on our hearts,
And all thats gone follows near
Though times of missing starts;

And doves that clung round our neck
Are beat by callouse rods,
And our lives are made a wreck--
Their shingles shabby shod.

And the Cherubs no longer bleat
Their sad and lonely courses,
Dry wells of salt no longer weep
Their woeful wrought remorses.

Yet while we both walk down these paths
So ridden with regret,
Lets recall what made us laugh
And made our smiles set.

And yet, though snow may mar our ways
Lets sing our songs of summer days.

One two, one two

There's something about spending a lazy morining doing nothing except getting some good word time, then reading Dostovetsky while listening to a collection of favorite songs that can't be beat. In the end, it leaves me with a unmistakable grin on my face, renewed zest of life. That was yesterday, and I was happy.

Now lets move on to today:

I have been listening to Aerosmith in unhealthy amounts again.... damnit... I know I should stop. I've also been reading shite short stories by some modern authors that think that their all that. I don't really know why, the titles seemed interesting but the rest of it just sucked. Like eating a pie without the filling... bad aftertaste and all. Now tell me, if thats not enough to make a perfectly good morning lay as atomic waste. I found this weird article though that made me laugh, its rather.... well... odd.

"A naked man was arrested on suspicion of carrying a concealed weapon after telling police he had a screwdriver in his buttocks. The man was lying on a tree stump masturbating beside a nature path near the El Cerrito Bay Area Rapid Transit station Thursday, police said.
John Sheehan, 33, of Pittsburg was initially arrested on suspicion of indecent exposure. But when asked if he was carrying anything police should know about, Sheehan mentioned the tool, said El Cerrito Detective Cpl. Don Horgan.
"You can't get much more concealed than that," Horgan said."

And yes, its odd. But odd is good in random intervals. Kind of like the song "Crazy" Damnit! Need to stop listening to Aerosmith before they make me completely depressed. Bah, I'm going to write something.....

Clarification

Right so I got alot of ppl asking if the last post was for my ex. (Obviously they didn't read the P.S at the end of it) Anyways, just to make it clear, its not for my x that I wrote it. The reason why its called "Mrs X" is cause X is intended to be a variable, meaning its some person who's name I did not want to put down.

Anyways, thats it... I'll be posting pics of Halloween and maybe a video clip or two sometime later.... Adios, all.