Discoveries

Just today me and my younger siblings have made a wonderful discovery. The world is a flat plane and is able to be circumnavigated by way of portals (pink ones, mind you) at either extremities. These portals are guarded by a secret sect of Eskimos that defend it with seal-bombs…Interesting isn’t it? Let me tell you the history of the conclusion.

It all started with an innocent talk between me and Danny about why our dear Auntie Rose was not doing the lunch dishes. Then somehow, (still don’t know how yet) we got into an intellectual discussion about his unwavering opinion of her, he insisted that I had unwavering opinions too. Then we went on somehow about how he couldn’t prove to me (with flawed logic) that the banana box was really brown and not black and then, Danny insisted that he was right because, in the rules of arguing, the antagonist is always wrong. Things progressed and, sooner or later, we got deadlocked in a stare-down while muttering insults at eachother…

Danny: There’s a squishy spot between your ears, its called your face.

Me: Holocaust victim

Danny: You sank the Titanic.

Me: You look like an albino Congo slave.

Danny: Now I know why God made only one of you.

Me: I still can’t understand why he even made you!

Danny: Well you’re fat.

Me: Your nose is a second penis.

Christine: Guys, is it possible to whack-off your nose? I mean, if its runny and all…

Danny: Silence woman!

Me: Hag.

This continued for a short while before Danny changed the victory objectives. It was no longer who could throw a better insult, it was who could look away first. If I had looked away, he would conclude that I have a wavering opinion. If I did not look away, I had an unwavering opinion…both of us insisting that we were each other’s “experiment”. And yes, much of the same sort…in the end we came to the conclusion that……… well….. I really don’t know. (Christine still insisted that we needed to check the levelness of our heads with a barometer.)

But what does it matter! The Togonians still play freely amongst the Banana groves and, no matter what, I’m not unwavering in my opinion… I think.